My baby boy

Today is a day of reflection, today is the day I no longer have babies, toddlers or teenagers.  Today is the day my baby boy turns 20.

The apple of my eye, baby brother of his 2 sisters, the boy who broke my heart as he muddled through those teenage years is no longer a teenager.

It only seems like yesterday I had his pudgy little hand in mine as we walked to school, I kissed his knees better after the almost daily scrapes, we made muffins together and I used to have to sit on the back step and count how long it would take him to run down to the corner of the yard and back.

It only seems like yesterday when I cried myself to sleep as he experimented with the wild side during the early teen years, battled with his sisters, actually battled with the whole family.

Now I celebrate the man he has become.  The man who now kisses me when he arrives and says "I love you" as he leaves the house.  The man who holds down a job and has purchased his own little flat.  The man who loves coming home for the weekend and just hanging out with his mum and dad.

Happy 20th birthday my baby boy, it's been a long road, but we're here now and I'm so very proud.

Who's my great, great, great grandmother?

We attended my husbands family reunion in New Zealand last month, and I was enthralled at how one industrious family member had researched the family tree and uncovered many scandalous skeletons.

In a fit of I don't know what, I had the idea that I would research the family tree on my mothers, mothers side.  I mentioned it to her, she in turn mentioned it to her older sisters, who then came forth with loads of names, dates, events with great excitement.  The words "excited" and "wonderful" were bandied about, it was then the pressure arrived.  I'm officially the family historian.

I joined ancestry.com.au and started the tree from me.  The next generation were easy, they are all still alive, the following generation were easy enough to find though I was disappointed to discover that there are no convicts or scandals in my heritage (on either side), the immigration records show "unassisted passage", so they paid their own way. oooh I thought, maybe they were wealthy... but no, I come from a line of gardeners (though that gene has obviously been watered down somewhat).

It was when trying to get to my great, great grandparents that things got HARD!!!  With surnames like ROYCE, BALDWIN, STOKES and BRADLEY it shouldn't be too hard should it??  How many Mary Baldwins were born in Worcestershire in 1815?  Well let me tell you, it was more than three or four.  So narrowing down our Mary Baldwin was tricky, but doable.  Now to the next generation,  how many William Baldwins were born in 1820's in Warwickshire? No less than 5!!  How many William Baldwins married women named Eliza? Would you believe 5?!!! How many William and Eliza Baldwins  had daughters named Mary? Every bloody one of them!!!

This gives me a massive headache even thinking about it.  Has anyone else had success in tracing their family tree?  I'd love some tips.

To anyone who's ever thought about tracing their family tree, a word of advice..... leave it to some other sucker!!

That's tragic

"That's tragic" were the words that came out of my niece's mouth.....

We were window shopping in Westfield yesterday, window shopping as I have to save every penny for my upcoming trip, when we came upon a mobile phone vendor demoing the new Iphone4.   Miss 16 and the vendor talked specs whilst I just ooohed and aaaahed, the only specs I care about are those I wear so I can see the iphone.

As we walked away Miss 16 was gushing about getting a job and getting an iphone on a plan so she had unlimited texts to her friends etc etc.  I piped up and mentioned "When I was young," yes I truly did say that *blush* "we had to use landlines to talk to our friends."  I then went on with "In actual fact, when I was your age, I didn't have a phone at home, I had to go and use the phone box"

Her reply was "That's tragic"

It's made me stop and think,  was it so tragic that I couldn't speak to my friends 24/7?  Was it so tragic that I didn't spend all my time in my room on the computer skyping, msning or facebooking my friends?

Friends have always influenced the lives of teenagers, is it worse now that the friends time encroaches on family time?  What should the balance be?

Maybe I'm just old....

Anyone need to borrow a bag? Most only used once, or nonce

I think I'm going crazy, seriously crazy.  If I look at myself closely I can see the signs, my husband has known for years and shakes his head in dispair.

I agonise over the simplest of decisions, weighing up pro's and con's of anything and everything I do.  It's getting worse, remembering my agonising over where to stay on holidays, yesterday it was bag disaster time. 

Now I have bags/suitcases for every occasion, I'm the walking talking bag specialist. This is a big trip for me so despite the bag shop that is my house I decided to order a rolling duffle bag (serious stuff this.... life altering in fact).  I ordered a lovely newly released bag, choosing the size from the one my husband has....or so I thought.....

The bag arrived yesterday and I was so excited, I love new things, but when I opened the bag it seemed small.  I dragged hubbys bag out and compared, uh oh, seriously smaller.  He made comments like "get another one"  "we'll swap" all the time thinking "just leave me out of it".

For several hours last night, I talked non stop, asking him and my brother-in-law their opinions, then not listening anyway (as you do).  I've noticed lately my brother-in-law is starting to shake his head and avoid eye contact like my husband does,  it must be a family thing.

My dilemma was I hadn't measured the bag we had, I'd just assumed I knew the size, therefore I had ordered too small. Now the questions were  should I swap with hubby? could I really fit everything in? should I just order another?  Should I do a dummy pack? What would happen if at the last minute I changed my mind?  I had the tape measure out and must have measured each bag about 50 times,  I can easily rattle off width, depth, length of each bag.

I finally came to the decision to order another, and wow, how exciting that was, I felt drunk with relief, or maybe that was the wine I consumed whilst fretting.

Is this going to be my life from now on?  Is it hormonal? AM I GOING CRAZY????  

I really don't need it, what will I do with it?

I'm a bit of a gadget freak,  I love things that beep, talk, and waste my valuable time.  I was a blackberry fan for years and loved it with all my geeky little heart, until I got an iphone.

My iphone has been the love of my life, I can check the weather in London, Canberra and Perth (where my daughters and sister live) in the blink of an eye at any given moment.  I am addicted to the game Angry Birds and loved the fact while my 8yo niece was staying with me she'd crawl into my bed each morning and ask me to play it while she watched.... I didn't want to send her home.

My iphone allows me to respond promptly to emails tweets and facebook, I sometimes forget to use it as a phone, it helps me to stay connected and in touch, I mean how else would I know @TheaTweets is excited to be going out to dinner without children and @kerrisackville has made another porno? I mean this is important stuff!!!!

When the ipad came out, I kept telling myself I didn't need one, wouldn't use one, and all the other reasons I could think of to shake myself out of secretly lusting. 

Today we had to duck into the Apple Store to pick something up and my technophobe husband casually mentioned how surprised he was that I didn't have an ipad.  Well I don't need one I smugly replied.  Since when has that ever stopped you says the man who knows me better than myself.  He then asked the salesmen if he had any in stock, which style? the man asked... 64gig wifi + 3G  rolled off my tongue as if I'd been practicing... my husband smiled....I do love him so.....though maybe not as much as the ipad I'll be picking up on Monday.

Manipulative or just downright clever?

People who know me well, know I loooove to travel.  I traveled before I was married and only stopped because I had to do those grownup things such as buy a house and have children. I often look in awe now at those who combine travel, mortgage and children successfully.

While I was at home raising my children, my husband traveled the world with his job.  Whilst he was dining in fancy restaurants I was cooking and eating a staple diet of sausages, fish fingers or chicken nuggets and force feeding vegetables.

Much to my disappointment now we have no responsibilities and can afford it, my husband hates airports and traveling.  His idea of a holiday is staying home and playing on his ride on mower and various other toys he's collected over the years.

Most of the traveling I do these days is with girlfriends or my adult children (the latter is only if I pay).

I have now struck on to the best excuse for a holiday....... Rugby Union.  My husband is from NZ so Rugby is in his veins.  I couldn't care less about the game but suddenly I have an interest.  The final Bledisloe Cup game is in Hong Kong!!!!  Of course I mentioned it in passing and noticed a slight interest.  I let him digest it for a few days and, armed with information, hit him with it.  The result being we're going to Hong Kong at the end of October.  Sure I have to sit through a Rugby game, but I think I'll manage.

Am I manipulative or clever?

My beautiful Nanna

I consider myself a lucky person,  I have been fortunate to have the most wonderful Nanna in my life for 47 years.

When I was little I adored my Nanna,  she knitted me all sorts of lovely dollies, taught me card games, and doted on me.  My sister and I were the only grandchildren and as I was the first born, I always felt a special bond.  I have only the best memories of Nanna,  I can't ever remember her being cross at me, I was loved unconditionally simply because I was hers.

My favourite memory was of Nanna taking me shopping and buying me some long plaits made from stockings on a headband from a craft stall.  I thought I was the ants pants, flicking my plaits back over my shoulders and hearing Nanna telling me how beautiful I looked whilst we walked around the shops.

My childhood memories are wonderful, but I must say I've enjoyed watching her relationship with my 3 children.  It's been a mutual adoration society from the minute they were born.  Nanna was always ready for a board game, happy sit outside and count cartwheels, or time how long it took to run around the back yard.  Whatever they wanted to do she was in boots and all.   She had a "lolly fairy" living in her bathroom cupboard in a little container stuck to the inside of the cupboard.  That lolly fairy never missed a trick,  every time it was checked delighted squeals errupted, this went on for many years even after they'd cottoned on to the real fairy.

Nanna used to sleep over Xmas eve and she was more excited than the children,  often it would be a 3 am start with my three squashed in a single bed with her waiting for the sun to rise.

As she got older and a little more frail, the relationship with my kids changed.  They started looking out for her.  Helping her up stairs, into cars etc.  It often bought tears to my eyes to see my rough and tumble then 15yo son opening the car door for Nanna and gently helping her out.

Aside from being devoted to her family,  Nanna has done lots for the community.  Over the years she's been an active member of Red Cross (particularly Telecross), she's knitted, crocheted, quilted for many organisations.  I remember her knitting tiny little bonnets etc for prem babies in hospital and stuffed special cushions for mastectomy patients.

About 3 years ago, Nanna fell ill and required dialysis 3 times a week (left over from the Bex and a lay down era).  She took this in her stride, always chirpy and outwardly happy, no matter how ill she felt.  This meant the end of her stays with us and made it more difficult for visits.  We all skyped her on Xmas day and she said she felt like the queen, we tried to call and visit as often as possible but unfortunately it sometimes wasn't often enough.

Nanna always lived by the motto "use it or lose it"  so she would continue to crochet and donate her crafts, and even toward the end when she was mostly in a wheelchair she would use her walker to walk lengths of the hallway to keep strong. 

About 2 weeks ago, Nanna was admitted to hospital for what was to be the last time.  We had what we thought was "the" phone call.  She wasn't responding and not expected to last through the night.  We were all coming to terms with the inevitable when the next morning her Dr came in to see her and she opened her eyes and said "Nick, why haven't I been put on dialysis, you know I'll die if I don't"  He was stunned and so it was off to dialysis and she slowly fought to improve.  This was the photo of her Sunday walking the halls so she would be strong enough to go home this week.

Sadly Sunday night, my beautiful Nanna suffered a stroke and passed away early hours of this morning.  She was 88 years old.  It's a difficult time for our family as we try to come to terms with it.  We just have to be strong and count our blessings, we were so very, very lucky to have had this amazing lady in our lives for so long.

We will be making  a donation to Kidney Health Australia in honour of Nanna.