I have just finished reading @mumto2angels blog about her son's Teddy Bears Picnic and I could see so much of myself, I too stressed over the little things when my children were younger. Actually, I still do. I drive my 22, 21 & 19yo nuts most of the time with my organising and reorganising so they have what they need and won't be ridiculed or caught out. Occasionally though it pays off, such as the time my son was applying for the Navy and I had all his paperwork filled out* and another poor 16yo boy was filling his out on the day and was missing important bits. My son came home that day and said "I felt so sorry for him mum, he obviously didn't have a mum like you to organise him" I was so proud of myself *.
There are times though when I know I've overstepped it, particularly with my 19yo son, who is 6ft 2, lives away from home and is very independant. He's always telling me (read the frustration in his voice) "Mum I'll sort it, it's not your problem"
My 21yo is departing tomorrow for a possible 2 year stint in the UK, I think she'll be glad to be gone, away from my "mothering". Whilst she's been out partying at all her goodbye events, shopping for clothes suitable for nightclubs, I've been organising the other stuff, you know the stuff a 21 year old doesn't think about, could probably live without, but I have to organise for her. Here's my list (I'm a little embarrased thinking of this as it makes me look nuerotic)
Earplugs, incase the person she shares with on her tour snores
Earplug holder, so she doesn't lose them in her bag
Locks for backpack, as she wouldn't bother
International sim card, so she can ring me
Long Johns, spencers, singlets, as those little dresses she's bought just won't keep her warm
10 pairs of underpants, so she has plenty of fresh and nice knickers
Solid perfume, a bottle might break in her bag
Laundry powder and travel clothes line
Pretty Bag Labels
Packing cubes for her clothes so they'll be organised - not sure how long that will last
Booked skyshuttle to pick up from airport as I don't want her travelling with her luggage on the tube **
Booked hostel for 1 week while she looks for a room
Printed Tube trip planner from Hotel at end of Contiki tour to Hostel
Addresses of Banks near her Hostel so she can open an account
Details for her to register for an NI number (TFN)
A lock with a wire extension so if her bag doesn't fit in the locker at the hostel she can chain it to the bunk - her reaction to that was "Fuck Mum, how do you think of these things?"
I don't have the heart to tell her, these are the things that keep me awake at night, her father thinks I'm nuts... maybe he's right. I live with the thought that when she's over there and finds these things useful she'll be glad I am who I am.
There's more but we'll leave it there.
How much is too much?
*insert groan here (continual groaning is accepted throughout)
** Good God, I'm even groaning
Friday, February 26, 2010
14567 and 18746 pick up papers please...
There's been interesting reactions to Julia Gillards announcement that all students will be given an ID number. The TV news reports had a dramatic piece showing kindergarten children in class with bubble numbers on the screen insinuating that these will be used by teachers instead of names.
Civil liberty groups and the Opposition say the program will depersonalise children. Tony Abbot thinks it's a national identity card via the back door and states "I think that children should have names, not numbers, and I'm concerned about any proposal that seems to commodify our kids," he said."
The teachers are up in arms, it's not clear whether they are for or against, they're just pissed because it wasn't discussed with them.
Personally, I don't see what the problem is. My daughter at Uni has a student ID which is used for anything uni related, her mail and documentation all have her name on them, the number is purely another identifier, ensuring that there's no confusion if there's more than one student with the same name.
The only problem I can foresee is if they have someone like me to enter the numbers in the computer...... the typos could be catastrophic.
What do you think? Does it depersonalise or commodify our kids, or is it just common sense?
Monday, February 15, 2010
Looking back
I've loved being a mother. I happily gave up work to be a stay at home mum to my 3 children who were born within a 31/2 year period. My whole world revolved around them (perhaps a little too much).
We wavered through the teenage years, or maybe battled is a better word, my son was particularly challenging, that's another story for another day.
My children are now 19, 21 and 22. The eldest is in Canberra at uni, the youngest has bought his own unit closer to his work, an hours drive from here. I can cope with that, I can drive to Canberra in 4 hours, I see my son once or twice a week. They're also easy to reach on the phone. I feel our relationships are even stronger since they moved out.
My huge struggle is my 21 yo daughter. In less than 2 weeks she's heading over to the UK on a 2 year visa to travel and work. She's my last child at home and I'm distraught. There'll be no weekend trips to see her, no calling in for dinner, phone calls will be tricky with the time zone. Sure I'm excited that she's heading off for an adventure of a lifetime but I don't know what I'll do without her. Since her brother and sister have moved out, we've become closer, lots of late night chats, lunches and quality time.
I also can't believe I've got to this stage in my life. It seems not so long ago we were dealing with first day of school, sleepovers, bed wetting etc. all the usual dramas of young children. I feel it's just gone in the blink of an eye (mind you those teenage years seemed to go on forever!) No longer can I kiss their problems better or cuddle them during the night when they feel sad.
I'm pushing through these feelings by being extremely proud of the 3 of them. They've all turned out to be lovely young adults with fabulous traits. When we all get together we enjoy each others company and have lots of fun (the squabbling they did as young children didn't damage them), I guess as a mother you can't ask much more than that.
But I'm still very sad......
So to those of you with young children, enjoy the moment and try not to wish it away.
We wavered through the teenage years, or maybe battled is a better word, my son was particularly challenging, that's another story for another day.
My children are now 19, 21 and 22. The eldest is in Canberra at uni, the youngest has bought his own unit closer to his work, an hours drive from here. I can cope with that, I can drive to Canberra in 4 hours, I see my son once or twice a week. They're also easy to reach on the phone. I feel our relationships are even stronger since they moved out.
My huge struggle is my 21 yo daughter. In less than 2 weeks she's heading over to the UK on a 2 year visa to travel and work. She's my last child at home and I'm distraught. There'll be no weekend trips to see her, no calling in for dinner, phone calls will be tricky with the time zone. Sure I'm excited that she's heading off for an adventure of a lifetime but I don't know what I'll do without her. Since her brother and sister have moved out, we've become closer, lots of late night chats, lunches and quality time.
I also can't believe I've got to this stage in my life. It seems not so long ago we were dealing with first day of school, sleepovers, bed wetting etc. all the usual dramas of young children. I feel it's just gone in the blink of an eye (mind you those teenage years seemed to go on forever!) No longer can I kiss their problems better or cuddle them during the night when they feel sad.
I'm pushing through these feelings by being extremely proud of the 3 of them. They've all turned out to be lovely young adults with fabulous traits. When we all get together we enjoy each others company and have lots of fun (the squabbling they did as young children didn't damage them), I guess as a mother you can't ask much more than that.
But I'm still very sad......
So to those of you with young children, enjoy the moment and try not to wish it away.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Rude boy?
A few days ago I read the touching story by @KerriSackville on Mammamia and it reminded me of an incident with my son a few years ago.
I had sent my 2 girls to a local public high school but was extremely unhappy so changed them to a private christian school (read expensive private christian school). Their brother automatically attended in year 7 as his sisters were there. My son, who is the youngest, has always been one of those children who walked a fine line in the behaviour area, teachers either loved or loathed his sense of humour. I actually love his cheekiness, which at 19 is still there.
Year 7 was wonderful for him, there were no behavioural problems, he seemed to thrive with the structure and nurturing the school provided (nurture being the word the school used to make the parents feel their fees were justified).
One of the features of this school was a laptop class, which suited my son as he hated writing but loved computers. When the laptop is given out (purchased by parents) the children sign a contract stating that they will not use their them to access inappropriate sites on the internet etc.
Of course in year 8 the obvious happened. For some reason the school took it upon themselves to phone my husband at work - they must have thought this was a "male" subject, which shows the antiquity of their thinking. My husband was informed that his son had been accessing "porn" on the laptop, which was a serious breech of rules and must be dealt with. My poor husband was on a mine site when the call came through and received much ribbing from the crew he was with.
We had to attend a meeting with the Deputy (a 40ish female with very high waisted slacks). My son had spoken to me earlier and asked if I could make sure his father didn't argue with the teacher as he'd done the wrong thing and was prepared for the consequences. (I'm not sure what he thought we'd argue about, I think he just wanted as least fuss as possible).
When we arrived at the school, poor son was head down, very embarrassed. It was hard for me to deal with as with many mothers, I ache when I see my children like this (I still do). Husband and I met with the teacher first and she had a print out of around 100 pages which had come out of the computer. We flicked through them as she pointed out that she had told son that looking at "porn" could lead to a lonely life, she then had told him with glee that sex when you were married to the person you love is "the most wonderful thing you can imagine" (he later told me it made him feel sick to think of her having sex"). Whilst I was flicking through the pages and listening to her waffle on I noticed that the photo's, in my eyes, weren't actually porn. They were suggestive poses of girls from the likes of The OC, girls laying on motorbikes. There actually wasn't a bare breast or leg open in any of them. My husband pointed out that the pictures weren't too bad, I then kicked him. We all sat through the lecture, my son promised never to do it again. He was subjected to continuous checking of the computer and of course it went right around the school.
When we arrived home, my son was still dejected, his shoulders were slumped and he apologised. I then saw red, a little late I know. I hugged him and told him he was not to feel dirty and disgraced, sure he'd broken a rule, but as far as looking at girly pictures he was only doing what 14yo boys have done forever. I mentioned that before the internet, boys would look at page 3 girls in the newspapers, People/Post magazine used to print girly pictures. "Really?" he asked, you could see the relief in his face as he realised he wasn't a dirty pervert.
It still gripes me now that I didn't take this further, the only reason being that my son didn't want a fuss made. I makes my blood boil that he was made to feel dirty for doing what generations of boys have done.
Do you think it's normal for teenage boys to look at girly photos?
I had sent my 2 girls to a local public high school but was extremely unhappy so changed them to a private christian school (read expensive private christian school). Their brother automatically attended in year 7 as his sisters were there. My son, who is the youngest, has always been one of those children who walked a fine line in the behaviour area, teachers either loved or loathed his sense of humour. I actually love his cheekiness, which at 19 is still there.
Year 7 was wonderful for him, there were no behavioural problems, he seemed to thrive with the structure and nurturing the school provided (nurture being the word the school used to make the parents feel their fees were justified).
One of the features of this school was a laptop class, which suited my son as he hated writing but loved computers. When the laptop is given out (purchased by parents) the children sign a contract stating that they will not use their them to access inappropriate sites on the internet etc.
Of course in year 8 the obvious happened. For some reason the school took it upon themselves to phone my husband at work - they must have thought this was a "male" subject, which shows the antiquity of their thinking. My husband was informed that his son had been accessing "porn" on the laptop, which was a serious breech of rules and must be dealt with. My poor husband was on a mine site when the call came through and received much ribbing from the crew he was with.
We had to attend a meeting with the Deputy (a 40ish female with very high waisted slacks). My son had spoken to me earlier and asked if I could make sure his father didn't argue with the teacher as he'd done the wrong thing and was prepared for the consequences. (I'm not sure what he thought we'd argue about, I think he just wanted as least fuss as possible).
When we arrived at the school, poor son was head down, very embarrassed. It was hard for me to deal with as with many mothers, I ache when I see my children like this (I still do). Husband and I met with the teacher first and she had a print out of around 100 pages which had come out of the computer. We flicked through them as she pointed out that she had told son that looking at "porn" could lead to a lonely life, she then had told him with glee that sex when you were married to the person you love is "the most wonderful thing you can imagine" (he later told me it made him feel sick to think of her having sex"). Whilst I was flicking through the pages and listening to her waffle on I noticed that the photo's, in my eyes, weren't actually porn. They were suggestive poses of girls from the likes of The OC, girls laying on motorbikes. There actually wasn't a bare breast or leg open in any of them. My husband pointed out that the pictures weren't too bad, I then kicked him. We all sat through the lecture, my son promised never to do it again. He was subjected to continuous checking of the computer and of course it went right around the school.
When we arrived home, my son was still dejected, his shoulders were slumped and he apologised. I then saw red, a little late I know. I hugged him and told him he was not to feel dirty and disgraced, sure he'd broken a rule, but as far as looking at girly pictures he was only doing what 14yo boys have done forever. I mentioned that before the internet, boys would look at page 3 girls in the newspapers, People/Post magazine used to print girly pictures. "Really?" he asked, you could see the relief in his face as he realised he wasn't a dirty pervert.
It still gripes me now that I didn't take this further, the only reason being that my son didn't want a fuss made. I makes my blood boil that he was made to feel dirty for doing what generations of boys have done.
Do you think it's normal for teenage boys to look at girly photos?
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Twitteriffic
The photo above doesn't do justice to the meal, it was a lovely golden colour.
I persevered and followed a few travelers, as I love reading travel blogs, also a few of my favourite authors and slowly but surely people started following back. I then felt the pressure, how could I contribute and tweet anything that could possibly be of interest, especially after reading blogs and tweets of the likes of @kerrisackville and @miafreedman who always come across so clever and witty.
Fast forward a few months and I'm now officially a Twitter addict, I only check Facebook for messages. I have Twitter on my Blackberry and can often be caught reading tweets in meetings, at the hairdressers and even when stopped in traffic. (Did I mention I have an addictive personality?) I've found the most interesting people to follow, and always get a little thrill when I get a RT or a mention/reply (I know, small things amuse small minds) I remember the first time Mia Freedman replied to my tweet, my heart did a jump, but my biggest thrill has to be last night when Jamie Oliver tweeted me, OH YES HE DID. I cooked a Jamie Oliver meal and uploaded a photo to him and he replied "@Lindat44 lovelry stuff well done" I'll admit I was a little startstruck, I grinned from ear to ear, my husband thought I was a little crazy but my 16yo niece was impressed as was @leeny37 (who admitted a little jealousy)
Now I have 207 followers - I'm not admitting any of these are spambots.... but my goal is to one day have my favourite blogger/tweeter @kerrisackville follow me, we have lots of little tweets to each other, mostly about Simon Baker, but she's yet to hit that follow button. Anyone who isn't following her yet, do as she's very entertaining. My other favourite tweeters/bloggers are in my blog list on this page.
Update: the lovely @kerrisackville now follows me
Now Jamie Oliver and I are besties via tweet, can anyone beat that? Has someone "famous" replied to you?
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